Why Am I Selfish? — A Reflection

 

Sometimes the hardest question we ask ourselves is not

“Who hurt me?”

but

“Why do I behave this way?”

When the thought arises — “Am I selfish?” — it often comes from a moment of guilt, self-awareness, or deep reflection.

But before judging ourselves, it is important to understand that what we call selfishness is not always cruelty or lack of care. Many times, it is simply a form of self-protection shaped by experiences, fears, and unmet needs.

Selfishness can begin as a survival mechanism. When we have gone through phases where our needs were ignored, emotions dismissed, or efforts taken for granted, the mind slowly learns to protect itself. It starts saying:

“Take care of yourself first. No one else will.”

This is not selfishness in its harsh sense — it is self-preservation.

Sometimes, we become selfish when we feel emotionally exhausted. When we give continuously — our time, energy, listening, support — without receiving balance, a silent fatigue builds inside. The heart then begins to withdraw. It stops giving freely and starts calculating. This calculation may appear selfish to others, but internally it is simply the soul trying to restore balance.

At times, selfishness is also born from fear.
Fear of being hurt.
Fear of losing control.
Fear of being overlooked.
Fear of not being valued.

When these fears live quietly within us, we start prioritizing our comfort and safety above everything else. We may avoid sharing, hesitate to compromise, or put our own needs first. This behaviour can be misunderstood — even by ourselves — as selfishness.

Another reason could be the journey of self-discovery. There are phases in life when we turn inward to understand our desires, goals, and identity. During this time, we may choose ourselves more often. We may say “no” to things we once agreed to. We may step back from people or situations that drain us.
This is not always selfishness — sometimes it is growth.

However, true reflection asks us to look deeper.
Are we ignoring others’ feelings completely?
Are we unwilling to empathize?
Do we always expect more than we give?

If the answer is yes, then selfishness may be gently asking for awareness and balance. Being aware of our actions without harsh self-criticism is the first step toward change. Selfishness is not a permanent identity — it is a behavior pattern that can be softened with understanding and empathy.

To move toward balance, we can begin with small shifts:

• Listening fully when someone speaks
• Offering help without expecting immediate return
• Acknowledging others’ emotions
• Practicing gratitude for what we receive
• And most importantly, forgiving ourselves for not being perfect

We must remember:
There is a difference between selfishness and self-care.
Self-care nurtures the self so we can give better.
Selfishness protects the self while ignoring others.

The goal is not to eliminate self-focus completely but to create harmony between caring for ourselves and caring for others.

If the question “Why am I selfish?” has come to your mind, it already shows a sensitive and aware heart. Truly selfish people rarely question themselves. Reflection itself is a sign of emotional depth and willingness to grow.

Perhaps the real journey is not about labelling ourselves as selfish or selfless, but about understanding our needs, healing our fears, and learning to give and receive with openness.

In the end, we are all learning — slowly, imperfectly — how to love ourselves without forgetting others, and how to love others without losing ourselves

What I Can Do for Myself

 When I Feel Low and Lonely: What I Can Do for Myself

Feeling low and lonely is one of the most human experiences, but it may feel extremely isolated. In these moments, the world appears distant, talks are heavy, and even familiar surroundings lose their warmth. Loneliness is not only about being alone; it can also mean feeling invisible, unheard, or alienated – from others and, in some cases, from oneself. When this emotional weight settles in, the most essential relationship to focus on is the one I have with myself.

 

The first thing I can do for myself is acknowledge the feeling without shame, that i do have problem of Feeling low and lonely . Loneliness does not mean failure, weakness, or inadequacy. It is simply a signal — an inner call asking for care. Allowing myself to feel low, without rushing to fix or escape it, creates emotional honesty. Suppressed feelings grow heavier; accepted feelings slowly loosen their grip.

Next, I can slow down and return to my body. When emotions overwhelm the mind, grounding the body helps restore balance. Simple practices such as deep breathing, stretching, walking in silence, or sitting in sunlight remind me that I am here, alive, and safe in this moment. These small acts may seem insignificant, but they gently interrupt the cycle of overthinking.

Another powerful step is to show myself kindness. When I am lonely, my inner voice tends to become critical or harsh. Replacing self-judgment with compassion — speaking to myself as I would to a close friend — alleviates the suffering. Resting when exhausted, nourishing my body, listening to relaxing music, or engaging in creative expression are all methods of saying, "I matter."

I can also convey what I am feeling inside. Writing in a journal, recording voice notes, or simply speaking out to myself allows emotions to flow rather than stagnate. Loneliness is typically reduced when emotions are given room and form. Expression does not expect solutions; it simply asks for honesty.

While solitude can be healing, I can gently reconnect with the outside world in small, manageable ways. Sending a message, joining a class, volunteering, or spending time in shared spaces reminds me that connection does not have to be intense or constant to be meaningful. Even brief interactions can restore a sense of belonging.

Feeling low and lonely 

Most importantly, I can trust that this feeling is temporary. Low phases are not permanent states; they are passages. Life moves in rhythms — moments of fullness followed by moments of quiet. Feeling lonely today does not mean I will always feel this way. Often, these moments arrive to realign me with myself, to teach self-reliance, and to deepen emotional awareness.

In caring for myself during loneliness, I learn that I am not truly alone. I become my own anchor, my own safe place. And from that place of self-connection, the world gradually begins to feel closer again.

#FeelingLow
#LonelyButStrong
#SilentBattles
#SelfCareJourney
#EmotionalHealing
#InnerWork
#MentalWellbeing

#feelinglowandlonely

When Life Feels Stuck

 

When Life Feels Stuck: Understanding Emptiness and Finding a Way Forward

There are times in life when you feel as though time has stopped, but the weight of life is still there. Days go by, yet nothing seems significant. Motivation wanes, the future seems empty, and even hope seems far off. This emotionally distressing state, which is sometimes characterized as feeling nothing, is more prevalent than we realize. The first step to overcoming this is to comprehend why it occurs.

Theoretical Understanding

1. Emotional Freeze as a Protective Response
   When life overwhelms us with unresolved pain, disappointment, or prolonged stress, the mind sometimes chooses numbness over suffering. This emotional freeze is not weakness; it is a survival mechanism. Feeling “nothing” is often the psyche’s way of saying it needs rest, not pressure.
2. Being Stuck in a Psychological Time Loop
   People often feel trapped in a particular phase of life because of unfinished emotional business — grief, regret, missed opportunities, or identity confusion. The mind keeps revisiting the same memories or expectations, making it difficult to imagine a future beyond that point.
3. Loss of Meaning and Direction
   Human beings are driven by purpose. When roles change, relationships end, or long-held dreams collapse, the sense of direction weakens. Life may continue externally, but internally, the compass feels broken.
4. The Illusion of Stillness
   Even when nothing seems to change, inner transformation may be silently occurring. Growth is not always visible. Just as seeds sprout underground before breaking the surface, inner shifts often remain unseen until they are ready to emerge.

Paths Toward Healing and Movement

1. Accept the Stillness Without Judgment
   The first step is to stop fighting the feeling. Instead of asking “What is wrong with me?”, ask “What is this phase trying to teach me?” Acceptance softens resistance and creates space for healing.
2. Reduce Life to Small, Human Actions
   When the future feels too heavy, return to the present moment. Simple acts — walking, journaling, breathing deeply, watering plants, or caring for something living — help reconnect us with movement and time.
3. Name the Emptiness
   Writing or speaking about the feeling brings clarity. Emptiness often hides emotions like sadness, fear, or exhaustion. Naming them reduces their power and helps the mind process what was suppressed.
4. Reconnect with Meaning, Not Goals
   Instead of chasing ambition, seek meaning. Meaning can come from service, creativity, learning, or simply being present for others. Purpose does not always roar; sometimes it whispers.
5. Trust Time as an Ally
   Feeling stuck does not mean life has ended. It means a chapter is closing quietly. Time does not move us forward by force; it waits until we are ready. Trust that clarity returns — not suddenly, but gently.

Conclusion

Feeling trapped and empty does not indicate the lack of life; rather, it is a pause before metamorphosis. Just because nothing is visible does not imply that nothing is happening. With patience, kindness, and modest intentional steps, even the most still phase may be transformed into motion. Life does not desert us; rather, it quietly reshapes us before encouraging us to move forward again.

 

Concept of Karma

 

The Law of Karma: The Timeless Cycle of Cause and Effect

The concept of Karma is one of the most profound and universal principles found across spiritual traditions, especially within Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. It teaches that every action, thought, and intention carries an energetic imprint that eventually returns to its source. However, one of the most misunderstood aspects of Karma is its timing — the fact that the results of our actions do not always appear immediately.

 

In the modern world, where instant gratification rules our habits, the slow unfolding of Karma can feel confusing or unfair. We often wonder why good people face hardship or why wrongdoers seem to prosper. Yet, the theory of Karma reminds us that the universe operates on its own rhythm, not on human timelines. Every deed, like a seed, is planted into the soil of existence. It takes time, conditions, and the right moment for that seed to sprout and bear fruit.

 

Just as a farmer cannot force crops to grow overnight, our actions, too, mature when the time and circumstances align. This delay is not punishment or reward — it is balance. Life continuously orchestrates experiences that reflect our inner state and past actions, guiding us toward awareness and evolution. Sometimes, the results of our Karma manifest in this lifetime; other times, they ripple across lifetimes, affecting the flow of our destiny in unseen ways. 

The delayed impact of Karma also teaches patience, faith, and responsibility. It urges us to keep doing what is right, even when the outcomes are invisible. A kind word, an honest act, or a sincere effort may not bring instant recognition, but it builds subtle energy that inevitably returns in some form — often when we least expect it, yet when we most need it. Similarly, negative actions may not bring immediate suffering, but when the right moment comes, their effects reveal themselves with precision.

 

Ultimately, the theory of Karma is not about fear or punishment — it is about conscious living. It reminds us that everything we think, say, and do shapes our future. Time may conceal Karma, but it never cancels it. When we understand this, we learn to act with mindfulness, compassion, and integrity — trusting that the universe keeps perfect account, and that every seed sown will bloom when its season arrives.

Should we be scared !

Shimla - India

 Whether you’re seeking nature walks, historic charm, or cool mountain air, Shimla blends old-world elegance with natural beauty, making it a favorite destination for travelers year-round:

Shimla, the picturesque capital of Himachal Pradesh, is a charming hill station nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas. Known as the “Queen of Hills,” it sits at an altitude of about 2,200 meters and offers a refreshing escape from the plains. Shimla is celebrated for its pleasant climate, colonial-era architecture, and breathtaking views of snow-capped mountains and dense pine forests.	The town’s heart is the bustling Mall Road, lined with cafés, shops, and heritage buildings like the Christ Church and Gaiety Theatre. The Ridge provides panoramic vistas, especially stunning at sunrise and sunset. Nearby attractions include Kufri for adventure sports, Jakhoo Temple with its towering Hanuman statue, and the scenic toy train ride from Kalka, a UNESCO World Heritage experience.