Odd days

 

Odd days (Part-2) :

Was meeting Anuj after long time. Last time when we met we had young fire burning inside us, we were young and free, we were us only, no one was there to stop us. 

Today I was meeting him after long six years, I thought its gonna be magical, the moment I will lay my eyes on him I will be all over him. Anuj and my relation was beyond anything and everything, no promises, no commitments, no sticking to each other kind of rules but then too we were together, kind of inseparable also.

Anuj and I met eleven years back and it was like 'like at first site' kind of thing. we met, numbers were exchanged and we met again and all there was between us was fire and fire, no questions asked just fire and fire. 

Sometimes I think that way it was good, no promises, no commitments and no expectations and no attachment, but the attachment that we had was beyond words. Every time we met it was like fiery but I was never eager to meet him but the moment we met we were like inseparable.

We never talked about our feelings or our future, every time we talk, it was about meeting when and where.

And, one day I just fainted in the bus while I was coming back from work and that very day I woke-up from the world of my dreams, the world of me and Anuj was indeed dreamworld, the moment I opened my eyes in the hospital I realised it was over, our world of dream was shattered and broken pieces of our shattered world were only gonna leave us bruised forever. 

I was not able to contact him as I was not allowed to call him. first time in our 'so called' relationship I realised that Anuj was dream, for me at least. 

Odd days continued - next day he called and told me when we were meeting next and I said 'okay', I never told him what I went through and where I was, first time in our relationship I realised he never, technically asked me where I was.

Odd days continued - today after the gap of six years Anuj and I were meeting again. I thought about the fire that we had and all I was getting back from my feeling was 'scepticism'.

But, wait, why, why I was not getting any vibes, where that fire went. Are all relationship connected with a delicate thread and once it breaks, it cannot be mended.

And the moment was here, he was there, I could have jumped into his arms, but my feelings were dead. Dead, wait what, just a moment back I was thinking about him, his hugs and his kisses and now all those feelings just vanished into thin air.

Same air once carried away our vibes, vibes that brought us together, same air was pushing us apart.

Anuj's eyes were same, his looks were same but he was not. That Anuj that I had in my thoughts, he was not him. Maybe hospital did surgery on me, the part of Anuj was operated out of me. 

He was talking, and talking and I was all lost, lost in my thoughts. He was talking but I. I was looking for my Anuj, and next I remember is I was in the cab and Anuj was far-far away from me. 

We were still in the same world, same country, same city but we were like millions and millions of miles away. 

Now all I think was what was that part of my life was or was it part of my life or just a dream.

I still message him, but, when he replies, its like no this is not from that Anuj.

Feelings are timely like happiness, a moment of happiness feels like lifetime happiness but its just momentary and yes Love is same feels like something that will last forever but truth we 'fall in Love' and when wake-up we 'get-up' and get going and Love, Love is left behind and feelings vanish in the thin air. 

#randomtjoughts #odddays #hearttoheart